


Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too

by sandean_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Benny Lafitte & Dean Winchester Friendship, Benny Lafitte Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel Possessing Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Falling in Love, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel in Purgatory (Supernatural), Castiel is Not Oblivious (Supernatural), Castiel is Not Okay (Supernatural), Castiel is So Done (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester in Purgatory, Dean Winchester Can't Help It, Dean Winchester Says "I Love You", Dean Winchester in Purgatory, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester is Saved, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture - Bunker Breakup Scene, Episode: s15e08 Our Father Who Aren't In Heaven, Episode: s15e09 The Trap, Falling In Love, Feels, Fluff, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, I Love Elvis, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Inspired by Elvis Presley songs, Leviathan Blossom, Leviathans, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of Elvis Presley Songs, Misunderstandings, Misunderstood Dean Winchester, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Quote: Family Don't End With Blood (Supernatural), Quote: I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. (Supernatural), Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Song: Can't Help Falling in Love, Take my hand, Team Free Purgatory (Supernatural), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, take my whole life too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22227877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandean_cas/pseuds/sandean_cas
Summary: “Picking a flower like this has a price.” Cass continues, “A Leviathan Blossom needs to consume – devour the vessel which picks it.” Dean’s eyes dart to Cass’ upper arm, as another red patch appears. “I needed to do this Dean. You taught me freewill – right and wrong. And I just needed  to prove that I do know the difference.”“A Leviathan Blossom needs to consume – devour the vessel which picks it.”“And – I’m so tired of you hating me. It’s just better this way.” The intensity of his gaze bores into Dean. Stripping away the layers of hurt and betrayal. This is their bond. Something profound. But despite it all. Cass’ words ring in his ears like a chant. Taunting him. There’s no way to save his friend. He grips the coat tighter. Dean’s throat burns with the force of the words trapped behind his lips.“A Leviathan Blossom needs to consume – devour the vessel which picks it.“It’s better this way? Right?” Cass’ eyes shine with an unspoken plea.“A Leviathan Blossom needs to consume – devour the vessel which picks it.“Yes.” Dean says firmly. “Yes.”“… the vessel.”
Relationships: Benny Lafitte & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Castiel's Trenchcoat (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 280





	Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too

Hacking through Purgatory like a madman, searching for one angel with Benny by his side.

 _“…Take my hand.”_ He had screamed it atop the rocky slopes as he held his hand out, longing for Cass to grip it tight. Dead thought, maybe this once, I can be the one to grip him tight and raise him. The bitterness of that failure is what fuels this desperate hunt.

He has the flower. He should just go. But he can’t.

Not without Cass.

“Dean!” Benny snaps. “We gotta split up to cover this ground in such a short time.”

Of course, Dean knows that. But even so, he’s reluctant to split up. What if Benny finds Cass and he’s hurt? What if Benny can’t keep him alive long enough for Dean to get there?

“Benny I-”

Benny ‘tisks’ at him. “If I find hot wings, I’ll send him your way, but if you find him, just high tail it back to that portal, hear me?” Dean’s shoulders sag. When Benny says it, it sounds so simple.

“Thanks Benny.” He nods once. A final goodbye.

Then he marches off.

…

Dean’s gun is cocked, loaded with a special borax filled shell that he and Cass prepared just before leaving for Purgatory. He took pleasure in hearing the Leviathans shriek as he pumped them full of these little suckers.

He sees the tiniest edge of the figure hiding behind the tree. Keeping his footsteps light, Dean approaches carefully. Before whipping around to face the monster, gun raised.

“Cass.” He breathes, lowering the gun.

Anger sets in, replacing his previous concern. “Why are you just sitt-” He sucks in a sharp breath, dropping his gun with a clatter. “Shit.”

Hands pressed tightly to his abdomen doesn’t stop the flow of blood even as Cass looks up at him, eyes full of terror.

“Dean.” He pants.

“Where’s your gun?” Dean demands. His hands trembling and he crouches next to Cass, gripping his collar, he can feel the sluggish beat of his heart, see the sheen of sweat from the exertion of just staying alive. “Damn it!” he yells. “What got you?”

“Nothing.”

His blood boils. It boils. “Now isn’t the time to lie to me!” he snarls, shrugging off his coat to press it over the bloodied area. He can’t even make out an incision point past all the fabric and blood, but that doesn’t matter.

“C’mon Cass.” He slaps Cass’ cheek as his head begins to nod. “Stay with me.” Like you can never seem to manage.

“Dean.” He uses the last of his strength to shrug him off. “Go.”

_“Dean. Go!”_

It’s so reminiscent of their last moments here, all those years ago, that tears fill his eyes. He vowed to never feel this helpless again.

“Take my hand.”

_“Take my hand! Hold on!”_

“Dean please. You don’t need me.” Cass’ breath hitches, “You never did. You go. Save the world.” Dean grips the lapels of his coat tighter. He can’t just leave him here. Not again. But his throat is too clogged to make an argument. All the things that he’s ever wanted to say claws their way up, creating a bottleneck right near his voice box.

“Picking a flower like this has a price.” Cass continues, staring up at him, eyes red and panicked. “A Leviathan Blossom needs to consume – devour the vessel which picks it.” Dean’s eyes dart to Cass’ upper arm, as another red patch appears beneath his shirt. He can’t believe that Cass kept this from him; but then Cass’ persistence that he should be the one to pick it should have raised red flags in Dean’s mind. He can’t believe that he was naïve enough to think that something like this could go smoothly. “I needed to do this Dean. You taught me freewill – right and wrong. And I just needed to prove that I _do_ know the difference.”

Cass’ voice comes in pants. Dean wishes Sam were here. He’d know what to do. How to fix this.

_“A Leviathan Blossom needs to consume – devour the vessel which picks it.”_

“And – I’m so tired of you hating me. It’s just better this way.” The intensity of his gaze bores into Dean. Stripping away the layers of hurt and betrayal. This is their bond. Something profound. But despite it all. Cass’ words ring in his ears like a chant. Taunting him. There’s no way to save his friend. He grips the coat tighter. Dean’s throat burns with the force of the words trapped behind his lips even as his mind races to find a solution.

_“A Leviathan Blossom needs to consume – devour the vessel which picks it.”_

“It’s better this way? Right?” Cass’ eyes shine with an unspoken plea.

_“A Leviathan Blossom needs to consume – devour the vessel which picks it.”_

“Yes.” Dean says firmly, shakes his shoulders vehemently. “Yes.” He repeats.

****

**_“… the vessel.”_ **

Tears fill Cass’ eyes and he looks away.

“Cass listen.” Dean pleads. “It’s going to eat away at you vessel. _Your vessel._ Not your grace.” He almost smiles as Cass opens his eyes to stare back at him. “You get me buddy?” his voice shakes. “Yes.” He repeats.

Dean shuts his eyes against the bright glow of Cass’ grace and they stutter open as his essence settles within Dean. Just floating, not grabbing or controlling or drowning him. This is Cass, he reminds himself. Dean blinks his eyes a few times, adjusting to the sensation.

“I never hated you.” he admits.

“Now – I can – I _know_ Dean.”

And just then, the ramifications of Dean’s decision hits him. He does _know._ Every unspoken thought, ever action he contemplated but never completed. He _knows._ And maybe Dean should care, but he doesn’t. It feels nice, like the gently presence of Cass’ grace inside him, knowing that even if things aren’t great, that they’re there for each other.

_“Take my hand…”_

**Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help, falling in love with you…**

**_♪_ ** **_♫_ ** **_”҈_ ** **_♪_ ** **_♫_ **


End file.
